Friday, March 11, 2011

Sarcastic 30-Year-Old Female Seeks Bestest Writing Buddy

Are you a woman between the ages of 22 and 40 with a passion for writing, a dry sense of humor, and plenty of free time?  Do you live within 10 minutes of downtown Austin?  Do you enjoy mocking others over a cup of coffee or many beers?  If so, I would like to invite you to audition for the role of my best friend / writing companion.

For several weeks now, I’ve been scouring the Austin writing scene for such a person, attending various creative writing Meetups and critique groups.  I can’t even begin to tell you how much bad writing I’ve subjected myself to on this quest for friendship.  And I mean really bad.  The general rule when critiquing someone else’s work is that you’re supposed to offer at least one positive comment; this is an area in which I struggle.  I’ll end up saying something like, “Well, I thought your avoidance of plot was really innovative. The main character didn’t actually do anything.  It was like we were trapped inside her head, listening to whatever random, pointless thoughts she was having.  So, um, great job!”  In my experience, comments such as this one rarely spark lasting friendships.

I've also noticed that the other writers who attend these groups are either much younger or much older than I am.  It's as if all of the thirty-year-olds have retreated from the social scene to play house and make babies.  On Facebook, my friends’ smiling faces have all been replaced by pictures of big-eyed, drooling infants.  Meanwhile, I’m left socializing with older retired ladies and college girls with fake IDs.

Last week, I went to my first fiction writing class, where the teacher kicked things off with a guided visualization.  She had us close our eyes and said weird stuff like “Listen to yourself breathe” and “Your hands are getting heavy” and “Let everything go white.”  I took the opportunity to blatantly stare at my fellow classmates, sizing them up and trying to decide who might be good friend material.  There was only one girl who I thought had potential.  She had bright pink hair and the only thing she said all night was “Go @#$% yourself,” but she didn’t say it to anyone in particular – it was part of a creative exercise.  Anyway, she didn’t show up to this week’s class, so it looks like I’m back to square one.


  1. Dude, you might be in luck. I don't live in Austin, but one of my hilarious best friends is moving there. She happens to be a fantastic writer, had pink hair for about a year, and I don't think I could count on both hands the number of times I've heard her say something along the lines of "go &*^% yourself."

    I don't know if she's looking for a writing buddy or not, though. I'll send her over here ASAP : )

  2. I need a new best friend, too. I'd totally take you up on your offer if I lived anywhere near Austin. :-)

    I hope April's friend can be your new best friend, though. And I wish I would have someone hook me up with a new best friend. Maybe I should put up a similar personal ad. We just moved to New York and I have yet to meet anyone my own age outside of my new co-workers, and I'm sure that they think I'm fairly weird/lame. :-/

  3. Cool. That is one good thing about Austin. There are a lot of transplants here looking to meet people.

    Making friends with co-workers is totally the way to go. Almost makes me want to go out and get a job. Yup, almost.