Sunday, September 12, 2010

Quitting with Flair

Since I’m both bitter and creative, I’ve always been tempted to quit my job in some hilarious way: on a cake, in a Mac alert, or by ripping my shirt open and having “Do What You Love” tattooed across my chest.

Resigning gracefully requires an incredible amount of willpower, especially when you loathe your superiors.  I once worked for a blatantly sexist guy who ironically carried a purse.  I also worked for a guy who routinely told off his employees, his clients, his waiters, and even his wife’s gynecologist.  And at one point, I worked for my husband, who often implied that his employee was lazy.  But as tempted as I've been to resign a job with a legendary "screw you" statement, I never so much as gave the finger on my way out the door.  My father always told me to "never burn bridges."  I know it’s just a saying, but the world really is a frighteningly small place.  Awkward run-ins are inevitable.

Case in point:  At age sixteen, I decided to spend the summer working full-time for the government.  Five minutes after I clocked in on the first day, I realized that I had made a terrible mistake.  I wanted to tell my boss that his office smelled weird and that he could take his data entry and shove it, but my parents convinced me it was a bad idea.  I stayed the entire ten weeks, and on my last day of work, I presented my boss with a thank you note attached to a giant bag of Pull-N-Peel Twizzlers.  Six years later, I randomly ended up sitting next to that same guy on a flight back from London.  He immediately remembered the Twizzlers, gave me his business card, and offered to help me with my career in any way he could.

This story is part of the reason I have yet to quit a job with any style or flair.  It’s a good thing, too, because several of my former bosses have popped up in future situations, including a job interview.  And I run into my husband all the time.

So if you’re considering quitting your job, I suggest sticking with the traditional resignation letter and venting your frustration in other ways.  Like, say, an anonymous blog!

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